I have a lot of friends who love their jobs. Some of those friends love the jobs so much that they become married to them. There's no actual wedding, nor do they get presents. They don't even get a partner to get married to -- unless work-husband or work-wife counts, a term defined by Wikipedia as "a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex, with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as, confidences, loyalties, shared experiences, and a degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relationship when one's actual spouse or boy/girlfriend is not able to be there."

I never had a work spouse but I've had close relationships with co-workers that seemed as important as my personal ones; in fact, I've remained good friends with some of those people, specifically one girl, Dani, who is an executive for a company that seems to employ her beyond her regular work tasks. This girl works hard, travels for work, is sent on trips as bonus (not for work, but if there's some little extra work to be brought along who should really complain -- it's a free trip!). She attends fantastic events, meets celebrities, samples the most luxurious spas and products, goes shopping with her boss, exchanges gifts… in other words, she has a blast. But, once during a friendly chat with her boss, Dani brought up that she was starting to burn out from how hard she's been working, even with the perks of all the trips and the occasional gifts that she wouldn't be able to afford to buy for herself. Her boss didn't get upset but was more surprised than anything. She said, But you don't have a partner, you're not dating seriously and there are no children at home, what else would you do?

With all this free time, right? (Well, she used to be a painter, and a writer and designed clothes, but never mind.) My friend Dani probably laughed as if the boss had said the best joke and they never talked about it again. Dani still works there and I still get her texts "we need to see each other soon as soon as I'm back from LA!," and I know that soon may mean a month from now, if that, and when it does we won't even talk about how hard she's working because she'll be too tired to talk about it. I hope she reads our Last Workplace Taboos article about burnout and takes a hint.

Jowita

P.S. By the way, I asked if she'd like to be interviewed for this blog. She said yes but I simply couldn't get hold of her.

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